The Psychology of Settling and How It’s Inhibiting Your Ideal Life
Remember that regrettable Ex you had from High School? The one that you look back and think, “What was I thinking?”. However, you know exactly what was going through your head. Although that person wasn’t your ideal match, being with them was comfortable. You thought that if you broke up, you wouldn’t be able to attain anyone better. It all boiled down to fear of failure. Fear of rejection. We don’t just do this in relationships. People stay in unfulfilling jobs because they believe that their ideal careers are outside of their grasp. They live in sub-par homes because their sub-par jobs can’t finance their dream houses. The Psychology of Settling sets you up for a life of disappointment. Name any successful person and I can guarantee that they set high goals and and didn’t take no for an answer. Quit telling yourself that you’re not good enough for the things you want in life! Repeating this in your head will turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking this way will only lock you into the cycle of aiming low and hitting, never knowing how high you could hit if you actually looked there. The following steps will help you to stop settling and start achieving your dreams.
Number One: Create your vision. It’s hard to hit your target when you don’t know where you’re aiming. Set aside some time to sit down, shut out distractions and make a list of all the things you NEED in life. Go from most important to least important. That way, the value of the things that you do accomplish will far outweigh anything that you don’t manage to complete. Create a vision board. Go out and buy a cork bulletin board. Then, go online and collect images that represent your ideal life. I personally prefer to print out images at WalMart or Walgreens for photo-quality, but if you’re super tight on cash, home print-outs are fine. Make sure you capture your dream career, home, car, clothes, and even vacation spots. Leave nothing up in the air. Once the Vision board is completed, I want you to gaze upon your masterpiece and imagine yourself within every single one of those pictures. Your brain can’t tell the difference between envisioning doing something and actually doing it. Living your dream life in your head prepares your psyche to live that life in reality.
Number Two: Set deadlines. Leaving things for tomorrow puts them in the category of “Never accomplish”. The most successful people in the world set very tight deadlines. How soon do you want to be living your dream life? I would bet that the answer is “ASAP”. But you’re never going to get there unless you set deadlines. Start from the most important goal and work your way down the list. Also, include where you want to be in thirty, twenty and ten years. It will provide you with a road map for your life. Without a destination, a ship cast away at sea will drift for eternity. It can be the most capable ship with the greatest crew, but without a chosen course they will never reach port. Don’t be that aimless ship! Make sure you route is clear so that there is no room for error!
Number Three: Make the Little Things Count. Now that you have your entire life planned out, you might feel a little overwhelmed. Thoughts start swirling around in your head, like, “How will I ever achieve all of this?”. This kind of self-doubt can lead you right back to settling for less than you deserve. It’s ok. Step back and take a deep breath. A thousand mile journey starts with one step. I have a feeling that most of your goals can’t be accomplished in a single day. Minimize what you just did for your life goals. Get yourself a daily planner and begin scheduling every aspect of your day. The most successful people tend to plan out their days minute by minute. By making note of them and setting tight deadlines, these examples are for more productivity in a day than the average person. Over time, this productivity snowballs, resulting in years or even decades of more productive time utilized than everyone else. Remember, most people are not fulfilled in their lives. Don’t do what the herd is doing. Plan out what you want to do each day and it will eventually accumulate into your life goals.
In life, it’s easy for us to get comfortable or complacent. Your job may pay all the bills but not finance your needs. Your significant other can be bearable but fail to illicit passion from you. Your living space could be adequate but not breathtaking. Settling is the sacrificing of your dreams for what is easy. It’s aiming low and hitting. Don’t fall into this trap! Be thankful for what you already have, but strive for more! Form your vision, set deadlines for those goals and work everyday to reach them. You are in control of your own destiny. Start acting like it! I’m Tom McGrath, creator of The Plenitude Law telling you to keep improving until next time.